Lost in the Translation

Kids say the darndest things. Here are just a few things that got lost in the translation:

ear loaf -- ear lobe

glossias -- gracias

super girl to arrest you -- super girl to the rescue

I Never Thought of That (continued)

Franklepea: You know, if you see a big mountain, you could just go up to it, throw your lasso around it, and climb up it.

Mommy: Then what?

Franklepea: Then, you can slide down the other side.

(Lesson: If you're gonna dream -- dream big.)

Lessons from the Kids

What lessons can be learned from this picture?

That losing a shoe doesn't mean the fun has to stop. Only grown-ups worry about such trivial things.

That, in the absence of toys, a good spatula can fit the bill for hours.

That a big brother is still the best playmate, even if you are likely to get hurt in the fun.

That a little sister will still play with you, even if you've hit her with a spatula.

Franklepea's Glossary of Terms (updated)

magni-finding glass (n.): magnifying glass
remembries (n.): memories
crouton grabbers (n.): tongs
scratch-backer (n.): back scratcher
buckin' otters (n.): binoculars
armpit sugar (n.): deoderant
mo-tro (n.): remote control
beezow (interj.): used to express a futuristic shooting sound as heard in some video games

I Never Thought of That

Maybe it's because the regular toys don't stay new and exciting for very long, but the kids come up with things that I would never think to do...

Like putting the unpopped popcorn kernels in that little hole inside the doorjam. Apparently Heimer thought that was a perfectly reasonable place to put the little duds because she installed several more today even though the last batch was removed a week ago...

Like using the hollow handle of my smallest skillet as a scabbard for the plastic serving fork, uh, "sword" that happened to fit so well inside. The foam blade has been torn from Franklepea's toy sword twice now, so it is in toy jail until the repairman (Daddy) is willing to glue it back...

Like finding out that spatulas make great golf clubs; you just have to bend down farther...

Like discovering that the size and heft of a wooden rolling pin feels just like a rifle in a 4-year-old's hands, even if you have to make your own sound effects to complete the illusion...

Like pulling your sister's plastic bead necklace hand-over-hand on a doorknob because it looks just like when real sailors pull up anchor or hoist a sail.

Someone tell me why it is we're buying toys for the kids again this Christmas?

Anyone Else Believe in Miracles?

Mooster at 6 months old. Was there life before this beauty?

There's a Reason They're So Cute

The evening we planned to celebrate Daddy's birthday with cake, Heimer picked over her dinner plate as if she suspected it had been poisoned.

Mommy: You have to eat your supper if you want to eat birthday cake when Daddy gets home.

Heimer: (staring at her full plate)

Mommy: Are you all done? You won't get any birthday cake.

Heimer: Me done.

Daddy walked in the front door and we shouted, "Happy Birthday!" I lit the candles and began the song. Heimer, now sitting in Daddy's lap, sang in her sweetest baby-girl voice:

"Berf - day - Da - dee - Berf - day - Da - dee..."

Franklepea: (upon song's end) Heimer doesn't get any cake; she didn't eat her dinner.

Mommy: That's right. I told her she had to eat supper to get cake.

Daddy: I'll decide who gets cake. She can have cake.

(How naive to think I could compete with the disarming power of a two-year-old, red-haired, heart-melting songstress. I should have known.)